Cemetery Shenanigans {Witch!Rose x Reader}

"I’m so excited for Halloween!” You frolicked around your front yard throwing spooky cobwebs into the trees left and right.

“Yay Halloween!” You heard a small child cry, you looked to where the pathway outside your house was and saw a small girl walking with her mother.

“Goodness you look simply terrifying!” You gasped hurrying over to the gate.

“Thanksh!” The fangs in her mouth gave her the cutest little lisp.

“Want some candy?”

“Wait I have to do the thing! Knock, knock!” She knocked the fence gate, you pretended to open an imaginary door, “TRICK OR TREAT~!!” She yelled holding up a small jack of lantern shaped bucket. You tipped out the contents of your pockets into the bucket, it being all your candy.

“Now you have a spooky Halloween young vampire~”

“I will thanksh missh!” She waved, her mother gave you an earnest smile which you returned with a beaming grin. Your heart swelled, no night made you feel happier than Halloween night! You wouldn’t be here too long so that’s why you were going to give out as much candy as you could whilst you were here. You were having a Halloween partay! All your friends were coming and some of their friends and ya’ll were gonna party to all of your favourite Halloween jams! Which was practically every Halloween jam ever created.

“(y/n).”

“Yeah Ro-“ You turned to only to shriek as you get hit in the face with a plastic spider. You peel it off your face, “Oh it is on!!” You yell running after the retreating female and fling it on the back of her head, you go into hysterics as she fails to keep in a squeal to get the thing out of her hair.

Once she does you realise you are actually going to be murdered. You accept your fate and skip towards her, smartly dodging the spider and tackling her in a hug. “Halloween is so much fun!!” You yell spinning around holding onto her arms.

“Halloween is quite an enjoyable holiday, it is definitely my favourite.”

“It should be everyone’s favourite! It’s the best day of the year in my opinion.” You stopped your spinning with an exasperated wave to a group of trick or treaters. You hurried back over to the gate, on the way you picked up the bowl of lollies. “Happy Halloween kiddos!” You beamed.

“Trick or Treat~!!” They called you showered them with candy they all thanked you and you waved them off to the next house.

“You really love Halloween don’t you?” You looked over at Rose and nodded vigorously.

“Of course! I’ve loved it since I was a kid! Liked it even more than Christmas, still do!” You giggled.

“Why do you love it so much?” You shrugged.

“Nowadays I can watch the joy and the sparkle in the eyes of the kids and it fills me with this undeniable sense of, I don’t know determination? It makes my heart swell and the smiles on their faces, god it feels like I’m eating candy just by how sweet they make me feel.”

“What about when you were a kid?”

“When I was a kid? Geez, it was something I looked forward to all year. I was getting candy, for no reason! And I was having fun with my friends and dressing up as scary creatures! What wasn’t there to love!?” You sighed, “It just holds wonderful memories for me, wonderful memories I want to pass on to other children. Sure they might not remember me in particular, but they’ll remember how I made them feel. It fills me with a sense of endearment to keep going, keep going for another year because I know I’ll make it and just like those little kids I’ll grin all through it.” You snapped out of your short trance with a dark blush and a sheepish smile.

“Wow, that sounds beautiful (y/n). I wish I could praise a holiday with such a strong sense of importance.”

“Were you analysing me again?”

“Maybe.”

“I should be prone to that by now!” You pouted only to feel a pair of lips press lightly to your cheek.

“Do you want to know my conclusion?”

“I guess.”

“I’ve come to the conclusion that you have a big kind heart and that you are far too pure for this world.” She giggled then pressed a kiss to your lips as you blushed.

“We better get ready now or we won’t have time to go to the cemetery before the party.”


“If you are a witch, why do you have a crystal ball?”

“At one point when fortune tellers first came about they were rumoured to be witches.”

“So you’re being an olden day witch?”

“I guess you could put it that way.”

“Are you almost done yet?”

“Almost, we’ll have plenty of time (y/n) don’t worry.” You pursed your lips swooshing your cape around for extra effect, you and Rose decided to be matching somewhat so you’re her familiar! A cat with a cute cape because capes are cool. Everyone knows that. You swished and zoomed around the room for a minute or so before you noticed that Rose was actually standing in the doorway, you just hadn’t noticed her.

“Rosie! You look so cool!” You made your way over.

“Thank you, you’re quite the kool kat.” She winked and shot two finger pistols at you.

“Since when did you and Jake hang out?” You asked in between giggles.

“Well, I was quite intrigued by his fascination for cerulean women and thought I would investigate and he was more than pleased to answer my questions.”

“How did I know you’d say something along those lines?”

“Well, you obviously know me very well so I would suggest that as to be the reason why.”

“C’mon let’s get moving, don’t wanna be late to the corpse party.” Your lips curled as you received a slight jab to the ribs.

“How often are you, John and Dave really hanging out?”

“Frequently enough. I have a full pun repertoire now, so you better watch out on this spook filled night.” You winked slinking an arm over her shoulders as you ventured out into the cold night in search of continuing your yearly Halloween tradition of visiting the cemetery on the special night.


“I always wonder why more people don’t come to honour the dead today. This should be our equivalent of the day of the dead in Mexico!”

“I believe that in some places it actually is.”

“Why not here?” Rose shrugged.

“Who knows, probably has something political involved. Probably copyright knowing them.” You laughed at Rose’s playful jest.

“I still love it here, it’s so creepy and eerie but has a strange sense of comfort to it.”  

“Go on.” Rose made her hands look as if she were writing on a notepad, you giggled.

“W-When my husband left me for the fifth time, I didn’t know what to do!” You sniffled overdramatically pretending to blow your nose into an imaginary tissue.

“Really? What happened next?” You lay down as if you had been previously laying on one of those red lounges that you expect ever counsellor to have, which they don’t. That fact saddened you quite a bit as a child.

“T-Th-Then I fucked his brother!!” Now you were full on fake sobbing.

“Goodness, that sounds terrible.”

“A-And I enjoyed it!”

“What happened next?”

“I got pregnant.” Rose gasped loudly.

“No!”

“YES!” You cried sitting up, “It was so terrible! And I told my divorced husband it was his so he’d come back to me!”

“You didn’t!”

“I did… a-and now we have three more kids but the guilt still haunts me to this day. Miss Lalonde, what should I do?”

“Tell him.”

“WHAT!?”

“Tell your husband, he won’t care.”

“Okay I need to stop the larping right here because you are giving some terrible advice here! I wouldn’t tell them! You’ve had three kids honey you are balls deep in this mess there ain’t no way you getting out of it by telling him you fucked his brother! If I were that husband I’d dump that hoe quicker than my third grade boyfriend!”

“Sassy counsellor, I like this character. What’s her backstory?”

“Her whole family died in a horrible fire whilst she was away at a friend’s birthday party and she had to deal with her own problems and depression and is now determined to help others with their own problems!”

“HUMAN, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.” You turned to see two figures, one tall and skinny the other short and stout. They were dressed as skeletons but hell did they look really realistic. Strangely really realistic. It made chills run up your spine.

“Well thank you sir.”

“THAT IS NO PROBLEM HUMAN THAT I THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAVE COMPLIMENTED YOUR INSPIRING STORY. YOU SHOULD BE HONOURED.”

“I-I am?” You glanced at Rose, “Yeah these guys are weird Rose let’s-“

“I love them.”

“If you weren’t honoured he would definitely have a bone to pick with you.” The short one spoke. That was a pun because they were dressed as skeletons an incredibly original pun of course, Rose stood.

“It’s a pleasure to meet the two of you, I’m Rose Lalonde.” She held out her hand, you stood quickly in case these creeps tried something.

“Sans.” The short one outstretched his hand from his jacket pocket, it was skeletal too, she shook his hand. You watched her grin.

“How did you manage to get your fingers like that, papier mâché and a polish of some sort or what else because that’s amazing, you feel like an actual skeleton! Oh and this is (y/n).” Once your name was said the taller one, came charging at you.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS LOVE YOUR NAME HUMAN.” You were hugged tightly not expecting it your hands and arms going straight through his ribs. You screamed.

“THEY’RE ACTUAL SKELETONS!!” You shrieked jumping back ten feet before watching as Rose cautiously pushed her hand in between the shorter ones rib bones. “DON’T TOUCH MA WOMAN!” You grabbed Rose’s wrist and sprinted for the high hills ignoring Rose’s protests.

“GOODBYE HUMAN. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL EAGERLY AWAIT OUR NEXT MEETING.”

“Later skelebros.”


“Why did you run they were actual skeletons!?”

“WHY DID I RUN!? THEY WERE ACTUAL SKELETONS!!” You yelled panting, adrenaline had started to wear off and now you were gasping like a fish out of water. “We are stopping that tradition.” You puffed out.

“What? No! That was amazing, we have to go back.”

“Um, are you insane? We are not going back to see the spooky scary skeletons!! We have a Halloween party to hold!”

“I forgot about that…”

“Hey maybe they’ll even show up to the party! You never know~” You elbowed her lightly, “You better not be falling for skeletons over me.” You pouted with a giggle as her lips were pressed to yours, your arms found her waist and her hands tangled in your hair. She tugged lightly as you bit at her bottom lip, her tongue peeking out to meet your own in a slippery dance of their own.

You were brought out of your heated makeout session by the sound of children going, “Ewwwww~” You laughed and so did Rose.

“No candy for you children~!!” You cried happily a sinister grin on your lips as you skipped into your house Rose following close behind.


“People will be arriving any minute! I’m so excited!” You giggled heading to the kitchen to prepare the large amount of booze you had brought to keep the party bouncing far into the late morning of tomorrow.

“Are you sure we needed that much alcohol?”

“You can never have too much alcohol Rose.” You purred pressing your lips to hers in a short, chaste kiss. Quickly grabbing some orange and black streamers atop the counter you skipped around the living room and kitchen hanging them everywhere you possibly could a look of joy plastered onto your face as you grabbed various more decorations to put up.

This was the first time you were holding a Halloween party and you sure hoped it wouldn’t be the last. You were much too excited for this party to go bust on you, you turned on the music, Calling All The Monsters running through your bones as you danced happily making sure to check on your outfit in every reflective object every spare moment you had.

Whilst Rose made sure to ‘check’ on the candy supply as she came back you took her hand and made her dance with you as you laughed exasperatedly. You kissed her passionately tasting the sweetness from the lollies because of the lingering sugar on her tongue. It was making you go crazy, almost crazy enough that you didn’t hear the doorbell ring.

You broke your kiss with an excited squeal, running for the door you stopped, composed yourself and opened the door, grin wide and beaming. It dropped instantly.

“What up?”

“Dave?”

“Yo.”

“JOHN!?” The two were also dressed as skeletons but every time you asked them if they had been at the cemetery they declined and said they’d been doing more important things, whenever you mentioned it John kept blushing. Rose was surprisingly convinced, you decided to be as well. Obviously skeletons don’t even exist so why worry? It was probably some silly trick of the light that made it look like Rose’s and your own hand went through their ribs.


Now the house was bopping and you’d never felt more thankful for having such a cool group of homies. That’s what the hip kids say nowadays right? Hip bumping into your tipsy girlfriend was probably not the best idea but you caught her anyway.

“Having a good Halloween?”

“Nope.” You smirked, “I’m having an amazing Halloween!” You giggled kissing her roughly, thank the alcohol for that. You heard cheering from around you as the two of you continued to kiss and dance together to the Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack.

“I’m glad, this is your favourite holiday after all.”

“Any holiday’s my favourite if you’re in it!” You beamed as she pressed her lips to yours again.

“Likewise (y/n).”

“Now lets skeleboogie!!” You giggled leading your girlfriend to the middle of the dancefloor and getting so low you were sure you were merging with the floor. You ignored the rolling of her eyes, but paid close attention to the grin on her lips.

“You’re smiling~”

“I know and I hate it.” Her smile widened as your lips met once more.